It might sound weird to some of you, since I’m actually “at home” right now, but I’m actually talking about a different home.
Today I looked at pictures of Estes Park, and a strong feeling of home-sickness hit me. I really miss Estes Park, and the Elkhorn Lodge, it’s over a year since I’ve been there the last time, and I’d really love to go again. Life was happy and normal there. Besides some usual everyday job problems there were no problems at all. I miss those days. 🙁 Not having to worry about anything, just living from day to day, having fun with lots of very nice people in a beautiful area. Even if it was difficult to get into the next bigger town for shopping if you didn’t have a car (actually quite impossible), it’s just wonderful. The landscape, gorgeous, in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.
*sighs*
I’ve been very nostalgic in the last few hours, that’s probably why I keep thinking about the 6 months I spent there.
The first year I went to work at the Elkhorn Lodge, in the beginning I didn’t like it all. I was ready to leave for a different job. Luckily I didn’t though. I don’t think I would’ve survived working at McDonalds for 3 months (And I still don’t know how you did it, Dennis). The reason I wanted to leave the Elkhorn was that I didn’t know anybody and felt very insecure and alone. But I eventually got to know the people working there and am still in contact with some of them today. I met people from all over the world (Taiwan, Canada, Czech Republic (Czech people were almost everywhere ;)), Ireland, France,…), we were a very international group of people working there. If somebody had told me at the beginning of my stay that I’d come back for a second time the year after, I would’ve told them they’re crazy. But yes, I did come back, and met even more lovely people. We were like a family. God, how I cried when I had to go back home, it was horrible. 🙁
It meant going back to my real life and trying to get some order into it. After all I’d just quit university a few months before. And as most of you guys know, even a year afterwards, I still didn’t succeed, my life is still a mess. No job, no future, no nothing…
I want to change it, but somehow it seems like I don’t have the strength and willpower to do it. Defeated so many times already when trying to find a job, no wonder I feel like giving up.

Mmmmh, this entry got longer than I expected it to be, and it seems more like LJ material, but oh well, I just don’t care who reads this right now. 🙁