::: Silent Dreams [Dot] Org :::

It might sound weird to some of you, since I’m actually “at home” right now, but I’m actually talking about a different home.
Today I looked at pictures of Estes Park, and a strong feeling of home-sickness hit me. I really miss Estes Park, and the Elkhorn Lodge, it’s over a year since I’ve been there the last time, and I’d really love to go again. Life was happy and normal there. Besides some usual everyday job problems there were no problems at all. I miss those days. 🙁 Not having to worry about anything, just living from day to day, having fun with lots of very nice people in a beautiful area. Even if it was difficult to get into the next bigger town for shopping if you didn’t have a car (actually quite impossible), it’s just wonderful. The landscape, gorgeous, in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.
*sighs*
I’ve been very nostalgic in the last few hours, that’s probably why I keep thinking about the 6 months I spent there.
The first year I went to work at the Elkhorn Lodge, in the beginning I didn’t like it all. I was ready to leave for a different job. Luckily I didn’t though. I don’t think I would’ve survived working at McDonalds for 3 months (And I still don’t know how you did it, Dennis). The reason I wanted to leave the Elkhorn was that I didn’t know anybody and felt very insecure and alone. But I eventually got to know the people working there and am still in contact with some of them today. I met people from all over the world (Taiwan, Canada, Czech Republic (Czech people were almost everywhere ;)), Ireland, France,…), we were a very international group of people working there. If somebody had told me at the beginning of my stay that I’d come back for a second time the year after, I would’ve told them they’re crazy. But yes, I did come back, and met even more lovely people. We were like a family. God, how I cried when I had to go back home, it was horrible. 🙁
It meant going back to my real life and trying to get some order into it. After all I’d just quit university a few months before. And as most of you guys know, even a year afterwards, I still didn’t succeed, my life is still a mess. No job, no future, no nothing…
I want to change it, but somehow it seems like I don’t have the strength and willpower to do it. Defeated so many times already when trying to find a job, no wonder I feel like giving up.

Mmmmh, this entry got longer than I expected it to be, and it seems more like LJ material, but oh well, I just don’t care who reads this right now. 🙁

I’m very upset right now, and if you go here you’ll see why. There is somebody accusing me I’ve stolen someone’s layout. Which is absolutely not true. I made all the layouts from scratch, all images, colors, I only used CSS Templates from SSI Developer, but even those I configured to my liking. I have all the original images, in layered versions as .pspimages, so I really don’t know what they’re on about.
Please, if you are this person who asked that question, can you please let me know what I apparently copied? Just send me an e-mail or comment to this entry. I want to have this resolved, ’cause I really am not a thief.
I hope all you guys know that I’d never steal someone else’s layout. Those accusations really upset me. :confused::sad:

So I finally did what I wanted to do for a while already. I made my site skinnable. Though it’s not the usual skinning with new layouts and such, it’s just a stylesheet switcher. Only the colors and the image at the top are changing. Right now I only have two different styles, but I’ll make more, don’t worry. 🙂
So, what do you think about the two I already have?
Any suggestions for other ones I can make? I’m open for any comments.
Don’t have much more to write about right now, I guess I’ll make a bigger entry tomorrow or Saturday, we’ll see.

Winter is coming, and it’s coming fast. At least that’s how it seems. I’m sitting here with socks, but my feet are still freezing cold. It’s only September, and a few weeks ago we were melting, because it was too hot. The weather sure is weird. It’s supposed to get a bit warmer again this weekend, and I hope that’s true.
Today I handed over the Movies category to Anna. I’m sure she’ll do a great job. And I can finally concentrate on my Stage Shows and Places more, and above all, I might be able to get MalcolmGets.Com finished some time soon. And there’s also Secret Obsession and several fanlistings. We’ll see how that goes.
Son’t know what else to write about, so I’m gonna continue with the usual Friday memes.

The Friday Five
1. Is the name you have now the same name that’s on your birth certificate? If not, what’s changed?
It’s still the same.
2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I’d change my middle name, I really don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong I like it on other people, it just doesn’t fit me.
3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
I was named after my grandmothers. 🙂
4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
I don’t really hate any names, just dislike, and that would be my middle name. Love? Mmmmh, I love a lot of names. Just a small selection: Janine, Leigh, Brandon, Justin, Justine
5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn’t it?
It’s dead on accurate. I was very surprised when I read it. Everything bold is true:
Your first name of Anna has given you a quick-minded, sensitive nature. It gives you a creative ability in art, music, singing, or fancywork and an appreciation for refined surroundings. Your sociable nature expresses affection, kindness, and thoughtfulness to the extent that it is difficult for you not to be affected by others and governed by your emotions, rather than by logic and reason. As you respond to love and encouragement from others, your romantic and dreamy nature can easily lead you into love affairs. Your desire for peace at any price can result in going out of your way to avoid arguments and confrontation or hurting the feelings of others. Also, budgeting can be a problem as you enjoy spending money and can easily ignore being practical.

Weekly Wrap-Up
1. What was the first music video you remember seeing? What was memorable?
Mmmh, that’s a hard question. I think it must’ve been a Queen music video, a friend borrowed me her Greatest Flix tape, and I think that’s what I saw first.
2. What was your favorite music video as a teenager? Why?
a-ha’s “Take on me” video. I just loved it was done and Morten was sooooo hooottt! He’s still hot today! :hearts:
3. How often did you watch MTV as a teen? How often now? Why has this changed, if at all?
I think I watched MTV and Viva (German music channel) nonstop as soon as I came home from school. Today I don’t watch it anymore at all. Don’t know, just isn’t my thing anymore. Don’t like most of the music they’re playing nowadays.
4. Did “video kill the radio star,” as The Buggles asserted in their 1980 song of the same title? Why or why not?
No, I don’t think so, really. Personally, I’d choose the radio over MTV any day. You have a bigger variety, lots of different stations to choose from.
5. What is the best music video ever made? Why?
Tough one. I really loved Michael Jackson’s Black or White video, I loved how it was made, all the different people fading into each other. And the message it brought across was just great.

You might have noticed that a few things changed around here. I installed a book and music script, and added a deskcam, which is running when I’m online. It updates every 20 minutes, so when I’m at my computer you can see what I’m doing. 🙂 And yes, I’ll turn it off when looking at naughty stuff. No need for you to know about that. 😉
The music script is running when I’m online and listening to music via Winamp, like right now. Actually the script should be a bit more enhanced but for some reason the ping to trackback is not sending the album information. Anyone know why that could be? It is added in the URL, so I really don’t understand. Well, maybe the folks at the mt forum will know. *sighs*
Well, and then obviously I removed the header images of the several sections and replaced them with divs. It looks much neater in my opinion. What do you guys think?
So, what else is new?
Ah, yes, I didn’t get the internship. 🙁 But I think you already guessed that, ’cause if I’d gotten it, I would’ve posted here right away. Got the standard rejection mail. :banghead: I was really looking forward to it. Well, I can just try to not think about it and say that it’s their loss, even though I know that’s not true.
Today I sent Bonnie a mail telling her that I want to let go my position as movies staffer. It’s just getting too much for me right now. I have 2 webistes to finish, and several fanlistings, and sometimes I actually have a life outside the internet. Yes, I really do, though it’s very rare. I will still keep Places and Stage Shows though. I love those two too much to give them away. Of course I loved Movies too, but it was just the busiest one of those three. It was a very hard decision to really split with one anyway, been thinking about it for weeks.

I think that’s all I have to post about today, though to make this entry a bit longer, here’s the Daily Double

1. How many meals do you eat a day?
I eat a small breakfast and then either lunch or dinner. So that would make 2 meals.
2. How many dictionaries do you own?
Too many. I have 2 huge English dictionaries, the Collins and the American Heritage. Then I have a small English-German, German – English, French – German, Spanish – German. I think that’s all.

Actually this is just a test entry. I tried to install the Amazon Plugin and Bookqueue, and the istallation process went through without any problems, however, now when trying to change a template I get an error message. 🙁
Just want to see whether I get it when posting too…